Tea for Three
by SIN Productions
Summary: Fuu, Mugen, and Jin take a stroll in Wonderland. Why of course chaos ensues. Originally written for a challenge. One Shot.


_**Tea for Three**_

**SIN Productions**

_Tea for Three belongs rightfully to SIN Productions © 2006. Plagiarism is illegal and is considered a crime. Samurai Champloo is © manglobe INC. All rights reserved. Comments and criticism are welcome._

Based off of Chapter 7 of the original Alice in Wonderland, by Lewis Caroll. Replaces the Mad Hatter, the March Hare, and Alice with Mugen, Jin, and Fuu. Why of course chaos ensues. Originally written for the 1000 Word Challenge found in the Lunaescence Forums._  
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The table under the tree was set for eight and seemed deserted. Fuu stared at it dumbly, not quite sure what to make of the vibrantly peach tablecloth and the fine china placed delicately on top.

Cocking her head to the side in fascination, she couldn't believe her eyes. Between the intricate plates and fragile cups, there were kettles of tea and piles upon piles of…delicious looking cakes.

"Ooooooh." Fuu moaned in anticipation and scrambled swiftly over to the nearest vacant seat and started heaping the pastries onto a plate in front of her.

Before she could start shoving them into her mouth, a whistle sounded, rather loudly, and distracted her from her impromptu meal. Looking up, preparing to glare into oblivion the source that had interrupted her, she was pleasantly surprised to find a teakettle on the far side of the table, steaming and ready to be poured.

Her smile broadened as she reached for the tea…Seriously, could things get any better?

Stretching, she wasn't long enough to reach the other side of the table, so she stood on her Tipp toes and managed to brush her fingers against the porcelain.

"Almost…" she encouraged herself, and just as she was practically sprawled out on the table, within reach of the kettle, a katana appeared out of nowhere and looped through the kettle's handle pulling it up and away from her hand.

"Hey!" Fuu shouted, and promptly demanded retribution. "Give that back!"

The tea-thief ignored her protests and simply slid the kettle off the katana into his arms. With a look of pure hunger, he poured the steamy contents down his throat with a loud slurp.

It was then, as he was licking his lips, that Fuu realized that the thief was none other than Mugen…wearing a large, eccentric top hat with a note that read 10/6.

"Mugen?" Fuu was more confused now then ever. "What are you doing here?"

He didn't bother to answer; instead gave her a lazy look and yawned. Waiting for some kind of response, Fuu had entirely forgotten about the sweets she had planned on devouring.

Well, almost.

As she returned her attention to her plate, she heard Mugen offer, "Have some plum wine."

Looking around she said, "But I don't see any."

Behind her a deep voice provided the answer to the puzzle. "There isn't any."

Whipping around, Jin was standing directly behind her, weapon hanging loosely from his right hand.

"Jin, what happened to it all?" Fuu said angrily.

He pushed the brim of glasses back on his nose, shrugged indifferently, and pointed to the culprit.

Mugen. And with that he let out a huge, roaring burp.

"This is all very strange," Fuu contemplated with her hand extending towards the cake, "I wonder who would cook all this and then leave it out in the middle of nowhere."

Coughing a little low, and barely audible, Jin said something that Fuu couldn't understand.

"What was that?" Fuu dropped the cake in shock.

"I said," Jin's face displayed no emotion, but months of experience with him told Fuu he was a bit flustered. "I made it."

Dead silence. No bird, no cricket, not even Fuu dared to make a sound against that kind of revelation.

Mugen opened his eyes wide upon hearing this; but all he said was, "No shit?"

Jin somehow took offense, and raised his katana in a challenge.

"Not again!" Fuu squeaked, her look going from the cake, to Mugen, then Jin, and back again.

Mugen had an eerie smile on his face, "I'm going to kill you…now…Jin…" his voice was slurring badly and for some reason he didn't look quite like he was all there.

Looking back at an agitated Jin, he told Fuu, "He drank all of the wine." Which she supposed was a good enough reason to kill anyone.

Not wasting any time, Mugen leaped over her and landed with a flip beside Jin. Before Fuu had any time to bite into a cake, the two were hacking at each other without the slightest hesitation.

Sighing to herself, she stood up from the table, turned around, and started screaming various obscenities at the two young men.

She proved to not be a distraction, as her shouts went unheard. Slash, slash, flip. Dodge, roll, slash. Somehow in the mix Mugen's sophisticated hat was cut in half, deterring the brawl for a moment as the hat fell through the air and landed at Jin's feet.

Mugen was panting heavily, Jin's face was flushed from his efforts, and Fuu's left eye was twitching spontaneously.

"WILL YOU CUT IT OUT!" Fuu shrieked, stomping her geta sandal on the ground.

It was then that the wine must've gone to Mugen's head, because one moment he was perfectly fine, and the next he had slumped over and fallen head first to the ground.

Both Jin and Fuu stared down at Mugen's prone form, just lying in a heap, oblivious to the world around him. And snoring.

Jin blinked in astonishment, and took a cautionary step back, just in case this was a ploy of Mugen's to catch him off guard.

It wasn't. He was out light like a paper lantern, and upon closer inspection, his breath reeked of liquor.

"Well then." Fuu said, her attention drifting elsewhere. Elsewhere being the prize awaiting on her plate. She didn't need tea, or plum wine, or even boys. What she needed was sugar-sweet cake.

Yet when she turned around, the cake wasn't there. In fact the table wasn't there. Nothing was.

Fuu's jaw dropped and as she waved her arms in the air, she demanded, "WHERE'S THE CAKE?"

As it turns out there really was no cake or tea party. What there was was too much sake, a hangover, and Fuu waking up next to her futon in a tangle of limbs and blankets.

Pushing her hair out of her face and blinking in the sunlight streaming through the window, Fuu swore to herself, "I'm never drinking again!"

**END.**


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